Your mission, should you choose to accept it

Is to tell me: What the hell is this?

Hint: I recieved it as a white elephant gift for Christmas. Consider it a librarian challenge. First person to get the answer recieves the respect of reference librarians everywhere.

Yes, I do know what it is. I just want to see how hard it is to find out with only a picture.

<edit121603>Since Catherine asked: the object is a very hard plastic, and approximately 2 feet long. The two long side protrusions are maybe 4 1/2 inches, with the two small protrusions being slightly less than 1 inch.</edit121603>

<edit121703>No to both Justin and Patrick…it is neither a thing for hanging or a handrail. This is fun! Anyone else wanna give it a try?</edit121703>